Experiment: 47-B
Researcher: Dr. Samuel
Experiment Status: Inconclusive
Eyebrows Remaining: Two

First, I would like to correct the official incident report. I did not scream. I made a brief, involuntary vocalization caused by an unexpected scientific development. There is a difference.

River disagrees. River was also standing outside the laboratory behind three inches of reinforced glass, so I don’t consider her a reliable witness. Now that we’ve resolved that…

Welcome to my laboratory. I’m Samuel. Scientist. Researcher. Zombie specialist. And, technically speaking… half zombie.

Today we’re discussing an important scientific question:

How Dead Is Dead?

This question is considerably more complicated than you’d expect. Yesterday morning, River delivered Specimen #47. Adult infected. Recently recovered. No visible movement. No response to sound. No response to light. No reaction when I dropped a metal tray approximately six feet away.

I conducted several additional tests. Nothing. So I wrote:

STATUS: INACTIVE

Then I leaned closer. Specimen #47 opened one eye. This is when the previously mentioned scientific vocalization occurred.

Never Trust the Obvious Answer

Here’s where things become interesting. The specimen wasn’t completely inactive. Its response had simply slowed dramatically. Cold conditions during transport may have reduced its activity. We’re still investigating. That’s what science does.

Something happens. You develop an explanation. Then you test it. And sometimes your explanation is wrong.

That’s not failure. That’s discovery. You update what you know. Preferably while standing farther away.

Assumptions Are Dangerous

The biggest mistake I made wasn’t leaning toward Specimen #47. Although that was definitely on the list. The mistake happened earlier. I decided what I expected to find. Inactive zombie.

Then every observation became evidence supporting that conclusion. No movement? Inactive. No response? Inactive. No sound? Inactive. I stopped asking questions because I thought I already knew the answer.

Scientists have to guard against that. So do field agents. So do Cadets.

Test What You Think You Know

You don’t need a zombie laboratory to practice this. Suppose your flashlight doesn’t work. You could decide: The flashlight is broken.

Maybe. Or perhaps the batteries are dead. Maybe they’re inserted incorrectly. Maybe there’s corrosion. Maybe the bulb failed.

One observation can have several explanations. Good problem-solvers don’t simply choose the first one. They investigate. Observe. Test. Learn. Repeat. That’s science.

It’s also an excellent way to avoid being surprised by something that suddenly opens one eye. Which brings us back to Specimen #47. The specimen is now secured in Observation Chamber Three. I’ve doubled the restraints.

River has written “STILL DEAD?” on the observation window. Very funny. I am surrounded by professionals.

Dr. Samuel
Research Division
Zombie Readiness Society

P.S. Specimen #47 needs a better name. Suggestions are welcome.

River has suggested “Blinky.” River’s suggestion has been rejected.